Sisterhood of the Non Traveling Pants

I don't generally like women. They are brats who gossip about each other behind each other's backs and never say what they really mean. It's irritating as hell. However, 2010 introduced me to some pretty awesome chicks and I finally feel like I have what most women call "girlfriends".  On a day to day basis I prefer dudes because lets face it, those guys hold nothing back and will walk right up to you and say fart on your leg, or tell you you look fat and that is what I appreciate. Truth, realness and honesty. My gals are the best though. We make children cry which I find hysterical, maybe no one else will. We share stories about sex insecurities and why do boobs sag and oh I want to lick her hair because it looks like a soft serve ice cream cone! This is going to be a surreal blog for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about but to those who do, a good one. So to my best guy friend out there, he knows who he is considering he is always going to be to me the man that gave me away at my wedding, you rock man but last night I formed a sisterhood of the non traveling pants with some gals and that is going to take precedence for awhile! On a Colleywood note, a lady asked me if the mustard she was holding was powdered and on the box it says powdered mustard. Let this please be a message to you women that if you're at the store shopping and you have a question, it's probably stupid because lets face it, how confusing is grocery shopping? Even better, how hard is it to read? Please, do this for your local store employees, they could really use the break. Excellent. Thanks. I am now off to enjoy my weekend away from crazy-town. See you bitches tomorrow.